i only saw my momma for about ten minutes today, because i still don’t have my car and someone else drove me. she bought me a new computer because mine crashed. but she was so happy to see me. whenever we go a lengthy time without seeing each other whenever she sees me first she yells, “there’s my baby!” and gives me the biggest of hugs. lately, my dad has been texting me about how worried he is about her and some of the stuff going on. i’ve known for a very long time that my mother is no where near in good health. she had pancreatic cancer when my brother was two, before i was born. and, if you don’t know anything about pancreatic cancer, here’s a hint: most people don’t survive it. and two years ago she was diagnosed with diabetes. but she is a fighter and she tries her best not to let her health affect her. sometimes i see things like this and think about how old she is getting and her health, and it panics me to think what i would ever do without her. that in some point in my life, she will be gone. and i honestly don’t know if i’d ever make it through that. she is my rock. she’s always, always been there for me. and although we fight sometimes, she is my best friend. i love the days where it’s just me and her out shopping, and as i’ve grown older and all the distance put between us we’ve just gotten so much more closer. i miss her so much all the time. i don’t know what i would ever, ever do without her.

Feb 5th / 408 notes